Wishing you a stress-free, healthy and joyous Christmas!
As a life coach, what I have noticed from my clients over the years is that Christmas is a bit like Marmite .. people either love it or hate it!
The Christmas holidays are often hailed as the most wonderful time of the year, but at the same time, it can become a source of stress for many individuals.
It may be that it is the first Christmas without a loved one, or perhaps this year was a time your marriage/partnership dissolved or your children left home. Whatever the circumstances are you may end up feeling alone.
And then there are the financial burdens of shopping, social obligations, gift-giving, rising bills and the ever-present desire for picture-perfect celebrations, it’s no wonder we sometimes feel overwhelmed or start to dread this time of year.
Feeling lonely?
Loneliness, especially during the holidays, can be tough. Here's a gentle nudge to ease that solitude during Christmas. First off, consider joining others. It might seem like a task, but many are in the same boat. Why not share a meal at a local spot, or join a community event? It's just one day, but it's worth it because you are worth it.
Can't get out and about? Consider reaching out to people you haven't spoken to in a while, Christmas is the perfect reason to reconnect with old friends. Planning your day is also vital so that you stay entertained and have things to look forward to like, phone calls, films or programmes etc. At home, treat yourself to festive treats and drinks. Create your own cosy celebration.
If loneliness weighs heavy on your mind, please reach out to a mental health professional. They can provide support and coping strategies tailored to your specific situation. And remember if you live in the UK there is help available all year from The Samaritans, and as they say, you don’t have to be suicidal to get help. Their number is: 116 123 it is a free and confidential service.
A Realistic Budget
Try planning your holiday spending in advance. Establish a budget for gifts, decorations, and festivities to avoid financial stress. Remember, thoughtful and meaningful gifts often surpass extravagant ones. And when you don’t feel like the hustle and bustle of crowded shops, or seasonal ‘car park rage‘, remember there is always online shopping.
Perhaps consider alternative gift-giving options, such as homemade gifts, experiences, or charitable donations. It really is the thought that counts. Meaningful gestures often have a more lasting impact. Some people even introduce a Two-Gift Rule: limiting the number of gifts per person to two – one meaningful or desired item and one practical necessity. This reduces the pressure to find numerous gifts for each person.
Set realistic expectations and embrace imperfections.
Understand that Christmas doesn't have to be perfect. In fact, it probably won’t be! Embrace imperfections and focus on the joy of spending time with loved ones rather than striving for flawless decorations or gourmet meals. It is always the unplanned events and the things that go wrong that become next year's talking points So just focus on the traditions that matter most to you and your loved ones. You don't have to do everything. Just cherish the simplicity of Christmas’s little rituals.
And if overwhelming thoughts do try to take over try asking yourself: “What if it all works out?” If you are a bit of a worrier this can be a very powerful question that stops negative thoughts in their tracks. Another calming technique is: ‘change an action, change a thought”, in other words, move your body. If you're sitting in the lounge and the worries hit, try getting up for a minute, go to the garden for a breather, make a cuppa or take a mindful stroll outside. These can be effective at handling looping negative thoughts.
Festive Cheats
Holiday cheats and hacks can save your season! Remember, it's okay to take shortcuts and stop measuring your Christmas against others or even your past celebrations. The 'perfect' holiday scenes on social media? They're not as flawless as they look. After years of life coaching, it's clear we often “showcase the best and hide the rest.”
So, when it comes to festive feasts, let's ditch the pressure to be a gourmet chef. If hosting the Christmas meal, consider turning it into “a bring a dish event” or order pre-prepared dishes. This reduces the stress of cooking everything yourself and allows everyone to contribute. If you're a whiz in the kitchen, by all means, whip up your magic. But don't let the stove chain you down. The goal is joy, not Michelin stars!
Delegate and Collaborate
Why not share your responsibilities with family and friends? People will love being part of it all. Giving people an active part in the merry-making will often bring warmth and togetherness. So why not share tasks for meal preparation or decorating? And if someone offers you help, please think hard before trotting out the automatic polite “no thank you” response.
We all feel good helping, it's part of how we are wired. When a person offers to lend a hand, don't think it’s because they think you your incapable .. its more likely a gesture of goodwill, love and friendship. A gracious “yes” will serve you both better and will help strengthen bonds.
Looking After Your Christmas Self
Why not share your responsibilities with family and friends? People will love being part of it all. Giving people an active part in the merry-making will often bring warmth and togetherness. So why not share tasks for meal preparation or decorating? And if someone offers you help, please think hard before trotting out the automatic polite “no thank you” response.
We all feel good helping, it's part of how we are wired. When a person offers to lend a hand, don't think it’s because they think you your incapable .. its more likely a gesture of goodwill, love and friendship. A gracious “yes” will serve you both better and will help strengthen bonds.
Written by Sal Jennings, RTT therapist and Life Coach at Clarity Life Coaching www.lifecoachingclarity.co.uk